Where to start...

Well just weighed in for my biggest loser group and looks like I won the competition with the most % weight loss at just under 10lbs.  So I'm happy about that but need to maintain focus now through Christmas.  Where I'm sure I'll get glares from my family when I skip dessert and stuffing and all their sauce laden- artery clogging dishes.  I have to say in all of this my family is the most unsupportive of everyone I know, in particular my mom and my sister.  I don't know why.  But my guess is that they have their own piss-poor body image issues to deal with and can't stand to see someone working hard on them selves which in turn makes them feel worse about their own effort.

Which brings me to my second topic, my workouts.  Last weekend or the weekend before last rather, I competed in a fundraiser for my gym that I have been going to.  It was the hardest work out I have ever completed and I felt pretty good about my self for doing it.  I tried to tell my family about it and they couldn't have cared less, but who cares right!  I don't want to be like them anyways.  I'd rather model myself after my in-laws who are gym fanatics.  I want to be 65 and still working out.

Fraud.

I just read my last post and I feel like a fraud.  3 weeks later and I still weigh the same!  I have been attending Spark pretty regularly but after those super intense workouts my cardio has suffered.  I am realizing that although Spark is pretty fun it isn't doing the job it was meant to do and that is burn my fat.  I can't totally blame that though.  The eating continues to be a struggle.  I have really pulled in the reins on the eating out and am getting back to grass roots here and that is eating at home.

I also have consulted my workout log from the last time I was losing weight after my first child was born and noticed at most days I was completing double workouts.  So we (my husband/trainer and I) reworked my workout schedule to include double workouts 3 days a week.  It is going to be tough but do I want to weigh 164 lbs forever?  No I don't.  So I must find a way to get these workouts in.  We also decided that spending 200$ a month on Spark is not worth the expense if I am going to half ass it.  I am actually fine with that and need to do what I know works.  Which is...STICK TO THE DIET!!!!  and do lots of cardio. I am hoping to report some weight loss soon!!!!

Back in the saddle

Almost a month gone and I am hoping to get back into the blogging.

We were away to Ontario for the second week in October it turned out to be a botched trip complete with a house fire and the end of a 20 year friendship for my husband.  The lesson to be learned from this trip... don't stay friends houses who don't have young children with your young children.  It just went so horrible.

I also came back 2 pounds heavier.  After a week back at Spark and my regular workouts I'm back to where I was before I left.  It feels like I just wasted those few weeks.  So my month total loss was only 2 pounds.  I have to pick up the pace in November here as my Biggest loser group is weighing in at the end of the month.  Although it does seem that a few of the members have lost interest as 3 of them never got back to me with their midpoint weights.

Now that I'm back my Spark workouts continue to go well.  I would like to continue longer cardio to get the fat burn going.  Diet is always a struggle for me. But I only ate pizza once this week and have a few days of dinner time salads under my belt.

Well off for my early morning run.

Long time no write.

Wow so much to write here, where do I begin...

Again I have been neglecting my blog. Well that stops here.

Thursday- I went to Spark again and did a full kick-you-in-the-ass workout and really it did.  I didn't come in last which made me feel good.  Then again there was only 4 of us.  I can see how effective this style of work-out can be when it comes to weight loss and increasing your overall fitness in a short amount of time.    But really that is all it is good for.  I was sweatier than I have ever been after that class and the next day I was sore in places I didn't think I could be sore.

Friday- 50 minute run,  with my body feeling so sore, it hurt every step I took.  This run was like pulling teeth to get done.  Especially with my obnoxious 2 year old threatening to throw his toys on to the belt of the treadmill.  Ugh! I don't know what to do with him.

Saturday- I weighed in for the mid point of my Biggest loser group.  I was happy to discover I was down another pound.  But my delinquent group has failed to send me their weight as I requested.  I guess no one wants to lose any weight.  I also went to the weight loss and fitness seminar put on by Paul Plakas www.paulplakas.com. It was actually very good.  He touched on the mental aspect of loosing weight, which I know is my biggest obstacle.  I really don't know why I don't value my self enough to get this weight off.  Why, sometimes I value a taste of chip, cake, candy, or what have you over my self esteem. I know I would much rather be 130 lbs again and be able to walk into any store and have almost any piece of clothing look good on me.  That felt great!  I think these next few weeks I am really going to work on that.  Because as on the heels of this great day I opted for a chicken burger from Wendy's instead of my salad.

Tomorrow is another day.  It will be off to Spark in the am, and then Turkey dinner with the fam.  I know I will be able to control my eating as I'm really not a fan of mashed potatoes and I don't like pumpkin pie.  So I'm sure I'll do great.

blog-neglect

So again I have been neglecting my blog but that is not at all a reflection as to how my workouts and such went this week.  I'm just feeling that overwhelming tiredness that I am tired of complaining about...like that play on words there?

I am joining Spark www.sparksportconditioning.com. It is pretty expensive but I think it will give me the jolt I am looking for.  If I end up loosing the pounds faster it will be worth it.  I went in for the intro-session today and was timed on the base line work out.  it consisted of a 500m row, 40 squats, 30 sit-ups, 20 push-ups, and 10 chin-ups.  My time was 6:58 the trainer said that it was a fairly impressive time for the first time out so I was happy with that.

Sunday was a day off.

Monday- I went to Spark again for my first full session.  The work-out consisted of a lengthly warm-up which I found very effective,  the say it is exactly the same every day.  Then lots of running drills ending with some wind-sprints.  A definate plus to the class format is being able to push your self a bit harder to edge out your class mate.  We then proceeded to "Totals day"  where we did olympic style powerlifting and the goal was to increase the weight as you lowered your reps until you maxed out.  These totals then go on the wall under your name as a goal to beat next time.  Since it was my first time we mainly focused on form for Squats, Press and Deadlifts.  It was fun to use the bumper plates as they are larger then regular gym plates and it makes it look like you are lifting way more than you are.  I quite enjoyed this segment and gave me something new to strive to.  The trainer said although today wasn't "balls out" (his quote not mine)  It is still good to work on strength and learning the exercises properly for when it comes time to do the work out full out.  All in all I am very excited to continue going.

As for diet I've been doing better than I have in the past for the last few days. I am going to keep it up.  I'm hoping to see it reflected in the scale on Saturday as it is our mid point for the Biggest Loser group I started.

I'm a little late here.

After a day off on Sunday I decided to start the week out right with a great work out at the gym.  As tough as it was to complete my intervals with the plethra of injuries I am starting to sustain I had a great one.  My running shoes have crapped out on me making my right knee and foot feel very strained, I also think the injuries can be from the fact that I am increasing the distance, weight and intensity that I am training at as my fitness improves all in an effort to convince my body to shed some pounds.

After the parade of junk I ate over the weekend I have managed to get my diet back on track these last two days, save for the slice of the bread I made tonight.  I am wondering if I should put a small amount of carbohydrate back in with dinner as I do feel better if I have eaten a little.  With out it at bed time I am very tired and almost light headed and in the morning I wake up feeling very sluggish and faint until I eat my cereal.  Something I must discuss with my husband/trainer tomorrow.

I am hoping I have something positive to write in here tomorrow as I have my month end weigh in.  I know exactly why if I don't lose any weight though.

I must confess.

So my husband caught me in a lie today and I am feeling very ashamed.  On one of the dairy queen runs this week I was caught in a moment of weakness and got a cone for my self and ate it while I was driving home.  He asked me if I got anything for my self and I lied and said no.  I was feeling too bad about eating it that I couldn't bring myself to tell him.  I guess rather than him talk me through it I thought I could just put it behind me and carry on.  I have been feeling so frustrated with myself lately,  I really really want this weight gone but I continue to make excuses and continue to eat pizza, wings and ice cream.  I really need to get my head back in the game.  I guess it seemed easier last time to loose the weight and now that it isn't happening as easily this time.  It seems I have given up.