I'm a little late here.

After a day off on Sunday I decided to start the week out right with a great work out at the gym.  As tough as it was to complete my intervals with the plethra of injuries I am starting to sustain I had a great one.  My running shoes have crapped out on me making my right knee and foot feel very strained, I also think the injuries can be from the fact that I am increasing the distance, weight and intensity that I am training at as my fitness improves all in an effort to convince my body to shed some pounds.

After the parade of junk I ate over the weekend I have managed to get my diet back on track these last two days, save for the slice of the bread I made tonight.  I am wondering if I should put a small amount of carbohydrate back in with dinner as I do feel better if I have eaten a little.  With out it at bed time I am very tired and almost light headed and in the morning I wake up feeling very sluggish and faint until I eat my cereal.  Something I must discuss with my husband/trainer tomorrow.

I am hoping I have something positive to write in here tomorrow as I have my month end weigh in.  I know exactly why if I don't lose any weight though.

I must confess.

So my husband caught me in a lie today and I am feeling very ashamed.  On one of the dairy queen runs this week I was caught in a moment of weakness and got a cone for my self and ate it while I was driving home.  He asked me if I got anything for my self and I lied and said no.  I was feeling too bad about eating it that I couldn't bring myself to tell him.  I guess rather than him talk me through it I thought I could just put it behind me and carry on.  I have been feeling so frustrated with myself lately,  I really really want this weight gone but I continue to make excuses and continue to eat pizza, wings and ice cream.  I really need to get my head back in the game.  I guess it seemed easier last time to loose the weight and now that it isn't happening as easily this time.  It seems I have given up.

Friday.

Well today went very well.  It started with a 40min run on the treadmill.  It felt great, I didn't even think about stopping.  I was able to finish with a tempo run at 6.2.  I was very happy with the way it went.   I also went for an hour walk with a friend.  That feeling continued on for the rest of the day as I stuck to my diet until diner where I had a slice of pizza and 2 wings.  I must say the novelty of pizza is wearing off on me.  I am not even enjoying it.  I would have felt better if I had finished the day with a salad.

fighting through it.

Another great workout under my belt today.  I did my weight program as well as an extra 30 of cardio after.  I really didn't want to go today and after a poor showing at the gym last time I am really glad I managed to fight through it.

As for diet I am staying the course,  I did have a spoonful of pasta with my dinner tonight.  Tomorrow we are planning on going out for dinner and I must stay strong and order a salad for dinner.

rebound!

So after the funk I've been lamenting about lately I am pleased to report I did great today.  This am I was able to complete my intervals run with out any interruptions.  I actually increased the pace I was running at as well as the time.  My running is certainly starting to feel like I am back on track.  I just have to work on increasing the distance.  My knees are really feeling all the running I have been doing under this weight.

This afternoon my husband put me through a really tough workout that saw my HR peak over 200bpm.  I know I'm really working hard when I can get my rate that high.  I know he is getting frustrated listening to me whine and complain about my lack of weight loss and really wants to help me achieve my goals.  I hope this little extra push will reflect in the scale.   As for diet, the goal is to not eat out this week at all.  Tomorrow I will have dinner ready before either of us can change our minds.

I must admit I am already stressing about how I am going to complete my bike without any interruptions.  So we'll see how that goes tomorrow.

Doing great!... NOT!

Well it's been a while.  Probably a good indication as to how I am doing in other aspects of my life, namely my diet and work outs.  I've been eating a lot of comfort foods lately to combat the stress I have been under.  I really feel it is the lack of sleep that is the main source of my stress as well as a trying almost-2 year old, our finances,  my husband's issues, and dealing with the decision to move our family to the west-coast, just to name a few.  It's funny as my life feels like it is out of control at the moment I am feeling immense anxiety when it comes to the organization and cleanliness of our house.  I almost feel that the feeling like I can't catch up around the house mirrors how I feel in the rest of my life.  As I walk from room to room I see all that I would like to organize and clean but I just can't seem to catch up.

I really have to learn to put my self as a priority as opposed to those "things" that I need to do around the house.  I find my mind has been drifting during my work outs to those tasks that are waiting.  I used to find going to the gym my time of solace, time to meditate away from the kids.  I must work on feeling that way again this week.  I am planning on adding extra work outs so that I am doing a "double" twice a week, which may seem a monumental task as it seems I am constantly interruped by the kids during my workouts.  Last week I had good momentum going on my run and my son kept turning off the treadmill on me.  It was hard to regain my focus after that.

So putting my failure this week behind me I am going to work on pushing through the plateau/ funk I am finding myself in.  Even though I have not lost any weight I do feel like my body is changing.  My clothes are fitting different and my fat seems to feel looser around my belly.  I believe If I keep pushing it will begin to melt away.

The focus this week :  take care of my self first, house second.

Time to get serious.

Ok, over the last few days... maybe weeks my motivation has be seriously dwindling.  It is time to get serious now.  It is now going on 13 weeks since I've had my second baby and the weight is not budging and I know why.  The diet.  I've been too easy on my self.  Since I can't work out twice a day like I did with my first I have to be even more diligent with my food intake.  My husband and I have been emotional eating as of late as we have been stressed to the max.  Part of the reason I've been so down is my weight so does it make sense to make my self feel better by eating... no it doesn't.  I feel great after a good workout.  And I'm going to start focusing on that.  Like how I feel right now.  It is Sunday and I was supposed to go for a ride with a friend but in the back of my head I knew she would flake out on me.  I was feeling a bit anxious and my husband suggested I go to the gym.  I'm glad he did that because I feel so much better.  I feel I got my focus back.  I don't want to look like this any longer than I have to.  Even more motivation is we might plan a trip to a sunny destination this spring and I want to feel good in my bathing suit before we go.  So here we go.... back on the wagon!!

The bumpy road.

With the onset of the long weekend as well as some sleepless nights has sapped my motivation hardcore, also the motivation to write in my blog.  My husband thinks it's because I don't want to admit in here how poorly I have been doing, he's wrong.  It's because the lack of sleep is making it difficult to string even a few words together to make a sentance that makes sense.  When I think of all the reasons my motivation may be waning, the lack of sleep is probably the biggest.  So here goes my synopsis of the week.

Monday - Chinese food buffet... nuff said.
                 No work out- too lazy.
Tuesday - 20 minute jog- major fatigue had to walk half way through.
                 Diet- 9/10
Wednesday- Great bike ride in the basement- Completed very tough work-out called Dropping the       Hammer by Troy Jacobson.
                  Diet- ate chicken fingers and fries from Dairy Queen.
Thursday- GREAT run!  I did a 30 minute jog, build for 20 minutes to tempo for 10 minutes.  I finally feel like my running is improving!  I didn't have to stop and it felt great.
                 Diet - so far so good.  I've eaten every thing I'm supposed to at the appropriate times.

The looong weekend.

So as my week off comes to a close, my husband aka "trainer"  has been dreaming up ways to spice up my workouts and hopefully convince my body to start shedding some pounds.  We have both been bombarded by friends who have signed out for the new fitness craze "crossfit" ultra crazy workouts using simple equipment.  Which can easily be done at home.  So inspired by these hardcore workouts my husband has come up with some 20 minute versions that we can do together after the kids have gone to bed.  We went shopping today and bought some resistance bands and  8 lb, 12 lb and 14 lb medicine balls.  I gotta tell you that I am actually excited to begin these workouts together with my husband.  Last summer we did a lot of working out together, which I miss. While having 2 kids and little time together we haven't had the chance to really do a lot together.

I have not yet rated yesterday so I will do that first.

Friday:

9/10 workout-20 minute easy jog on the treadmill, I think my running is starting to come along, we'll see when I get into the longer runs this week.

8/10 diet- Pretty much stayed on track with the diet.

Saturday:

Day off of workouts.

5/10 diet, two meals eaten out,  Lunch was a chicken wrap at Bp's quite tasty but no idea what was in it. Dinner was a stir fry from wokbox.  Again no idea but today was a cheat meal day.  Just next time only ONE meal is eaten out.

Tomorrow is another day...

Just keep Swimming...

So this is me post baby #2 in August.  I don't look much different and as of this morning I weigh the same.  After that I was lamenting and disappointed.  I was going to write a long feel sorry for my self post in this blog but I did my 20 min easy jog on the treadmill and I feel better.  Aside from the weight I have shown a lot of other improvements since this picture.  I remember just walking through the park took my breath away.  Now I can run 30 min with out stopping, I biked for 90 minutes twice this week.  I can feel that my strength is returning in my weight work out.  So If I just focus on all I have already "gained" as well as keep improving on my diet,  I know this weight will start to come off.  My neighbor helped put this into perspective for me.   I keep looking at how Marcus is 3 months old and I still look like I gave birth yesterday.  I really have only been working out for 6 weeks now, So really it hasn't been all that long.  Like Dory the fish says in Finding Nemo... you gotta just keep swimming...

So for yesterday's workout

9/10  I love doing those "base builder" bike work outs, as I get really sweaty.  Which makes me feel like I'm burning a lot of calories.

9/10 Diet, fish and frozen veg for dinner. yum! well not really on the veg but we ran out of spinach.

Wednesday.

What a busy day,  first a play-date in the morning down at my friends house.  She lives about a 15 minute walk from us.  Then a unexpected play-date in the afternoon by my friend and her two boys visiting from out of town.  It was a day off from work-outs as it is my "rest" week.  So I don't have a rating for that.

7/10 Diet- I had half a tortilla with my fajita chicken, I could of had more veg with dinner,  but Jason and Marcus were in the middle of meltdowns which made for a-scarf-down-what -you-can type of meal.  My husband asked me to go get him a sundae from Dairy Queen which is always hard, and it being hot outside I really really wanted one too.  But as I was leaving I caught a glance of my back rolls in the mirror and decided having ice cream wasn't worth it.

It's 6 weeks until our vacation and I was hoping to feel better in my clothes by the time we go.  I have a gift certificate left over from christmas and was going to use it to buy some clothes for the trip as I have absolutely nothing to take with me.  How frustrating.

Tuesday

It's day 2 into my "light" week and I'm really feeling guilty, like I should be going all out. But I have to remember that your body needs the time off just as much as it needs the high intensity work-out.

work-out 7/10 Today was a light 20 minute jog, I guess I'm giving it a lower score because it was an easier workout.

Diet 7/10 Again with the pizza! I had my spinach salad and a small slice of thin crust pizza, still... I'm not supposed to be eating carbs for dinner. But oddly I'm not quite as famished as I usually get this time of night.